Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
