Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
