a search helicopter?!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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