we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
