Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
