If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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