I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
