Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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