You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
PANTIES FOUND
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
