yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize