So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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