oh god the rape fog is back!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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