Tell her she can't have a vagina
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
