If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
