I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize