I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
