I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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