all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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