my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize