I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
