Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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