But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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