she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
