There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she peed on how many people?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
