you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
