Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
