Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize