i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
