So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize