turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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