I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize