I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
