wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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