i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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