We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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