Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize