Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize