Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
