I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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