I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
