my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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