So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
