dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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