I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
