I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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