You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
