half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
