my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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