I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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