i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
