I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
