Its about making memories worth repressing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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