If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
