Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize