I accidentally burped into my bong.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just invented taco cereal.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
