I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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