Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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