Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
