i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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